this face

June 24, 2010


Oh dear. This face makes me forget all the pregnant hours I spent with my head in the toilet. All the times I had to pull over to throw up on the side of the road on my way to work. All the ab-marring stretch marks.  Each and every contraction that I endured without the aid of pain medication. All 6 hours of labor and each of the 40 minutes I spent pushing my insides out and wishing my lower half would separate from the rest of me.

This face justifies any and all efforts to forego birth control.

So true story: Yesterday I took the baby to the mall and on a whim, walked into Spencer’s. You know, that trashy store with, what I hope for most people, are gag gifts rather than actual products used in daily life. If you need a million different objects constructed in the shape of male genitalia, that store’s got ya covered.

Anyway, for whatever reason I went in there and about the time a little “toy” caught my eye, the baby started getting a little fussy. So I pulled out a bottle and fed her with one hand while selecting my purchase with the other hand.

And I’m proud to say, that this young lil mama continued to one-handedly feed my 3 month-old baby while selecting a pair of “Metal Love Cuffs”…a pair of hand cuffs that promise to “Make a Sexy Bond in Your Relationship!” 

I continued to feed her while I placed the cuffs on the counter; while the worker scanned them; while I handed over my debit card; and even when the young employee looked at me, looked at my baby, looked at the cuffs, raised his eyebrows and said “So, you’re already ready for another one, huh?”

I blame this face.

***disclaimer: please don’t think differently of me because  I actually bought a pair of “love cuffs”…and told the internet about it!! Besides, all of us women–whether you’re 50 with grandkids or 19 and a newlywed or 25 and a new mama of a little feisty baby girl–all of us have a wild side! I chose love cuffs–How do you let your wild side out? 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: