the art of taking compliments

February 3, 2010

I just love our baby doctor—he is cute and enthusiastic like a little old, next door neighbor lady that brings over cookies and sends homemade cards for no reason…and finds purpose and fulfillment in witnessing the fluid-y, squishy, gushy, scream-y, stretch-y, and just all-around YUCK that goes along with pushing a human out a birth canal.

But this is why I just love our doctor—he says things like “okie dokie” and “toodle-oo”—and it’s actually NOT ANNOYING…it’s cute and endearing and comforting and makes me wonder what he’ll say when I’m in all out push mode…

“OK give me another push-er-oo!” “Weee! Isn’t labor fun!?!”

In a word, he makes me feel cozy.

 But this fondness and sense of comfort I have for my doctor explains why I wasn’t embarrassed AT ALL when I showed up for my most recent appointment with bright blue rings drawn in watercolor markers around my huge belly.

 What was that, you ask? You had bright blue circles drawn all around the circumference of your expansive, child-bearing belly?

Yes, yes I did. Big, bright, blue circles drawn on my big, baby-filled belly. 

 Let’s just say I lost a bet at my brother and sister-in-law’s house and had to adorn my gut with a multi-colored bullseye. RH was kind enough to snap some photographic evidence for you.

It was funny until all the colors except for blue washed off, and a week later I had to go to the doctor with the ridiculous blue rings still gloriously outlining my protruding belly button.

 I had forgotten about the rings, so when Dr. G told me to “hop on up and let me take a listen to that little bundle of joy!” (his EXACT words), and I lifted my shirt up so he could do all his doctor-ish stuff to my bare belly, I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING when he noticed the rings and said “well golly, you look like a perfect, round Christmas ornament!”

 Hmmm. I can’t say I’ve ever associated my stretchy, itchy belly with symmetrical holiday decor. 

And the funniest part about it all, was he didn’t even ask what the rings were from…he just went about his doctor tasks, squeezing a tube of goo all over my  blue belly,  humming while he listens to the heart beat, and saying things like “well little baby’s heart beat is just a-thumpin’ right along!” 

 Normally when I witness the monstrosity of my now 7-months pregnant belly, thoughts like whale and gelatinous and “holy cow you mean my body is capable of stretching even more?!?!?” come to mind.

But now when I look at my belly, although I’ll still probably think “HOW ON EARTH DID YOU FIT  SHAMOO DOWN YOUR THROAT?!”, thanks to the observances of sweet, cuddly, cute Dr. G, at least we can now all rest assured that poor shamoo is being held captive in a “perfectly round” gut as opposed to a lumpy, lop-sided one.


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